Let me preface this one with a few things:

1.)  I’m currently dating someone steadily.  Someone who cares, and is supportive, and treats me incredibly well.  And I really like him.   Out of respect, the following does not reflect him or us specifically.  To be fair, I’m sure he’s not the only sane, wonderful man in the world.  I’m just sharing some experiences with some who are maybe…less of a good match with me.

2.)  It has been pointed out to me that if I divulge these stories, I could be somewhat like the Taylor Swift of blogging.  For the sake of my (limited) credibility, I’ll try not to make these types of posts a habit.

3.)  I have faults of my own.  One of which is likely my action-oriented, outgoing, forthright nature.  So, a good portion of this is partially my own fault.  So… there.

But ladies and gentlemen, the world of dating is a hot mess of crazy.  As in, a Pandora’s box of self-inflicted nightmares.  Because I could have waited longer to get back out there.  But I decided to go ahead and check out what it was like these days.

More specifically, my goal was similar to going out shopping with no real idea of what I wanted.  I just kind of wanted to have fun.  And to try on some different types of shirts, so to speak.

So, for all of you living vicariously through me, who are wondering “What’s it like out there in the dating scene?” once you hit 30, who are wondering if the grass is actually greener in the world of “singles”, here’s a little insight into the Pandora’s box I willingly opened…

And yes, the following is all based on reasonably true experiences.

 

Dating in your 30’s is being young enough to date millennials, but having to take away their phone so you can have a conversation.

Dating in your 30’s is having to suddenly figure out how to use emoji’s appropriately.

Dating in your 30’s is realizing that you don’t look the same as you did when you last dated.  And neither do they.

Dating in your 30’s is realizing that you have to re-learn someone all over again.  And someone has to re-learn you.

Dating in your 30’s is realizing you have parts of yourself you may have to re-learn too.

Dating in your 30’s is determining how much baggage you have, and how much baggage you’re willing to accept.

Dating in your 30’s is having to decide right quick if you’re okay with being “that woman with daddy”.

Dating in your 30’s is hearing pick-up lines from strangers that involve offers to wash your hind parts.  With hand gestures to demonstrate.

Dating in your 30’s is receiving Snapchats about hairlines.

Dating in your 30’s is really just a lot of texting.

Dating in your 30’s is finding a new hatred for “Read Receipts” and the texting bubbles…

Dating in your 30’s is seeing Match.com use their “fabulous algorithm” to match you with usernames like Captain Nintendo, Dread Prince, and Soul Collector.

Dating in your 30’s is coming to terms with the fact that you are no longer anyone’s first anything.

Dating in your 30’s is receiving selfies from men in their 40’s.  With varying levels of clothing on.  Of which you did not request.

Dating in your 30’s is needing a lot of girls’ nights, just to debrief them on “what happened this weekend”.

Dating in your 30’s is making a conscious decision to not compare.  And then reminding yourself daily, maybe even hourly, to not compare.

Dating in your 30’s means being okay with splitting the check.

Dating in your 30’s is walking a delicate line of “date-wear” between a too conservative outfit from Ann Taylor Loft, and wondering when you could actually fit into something from Charlotte Russe.

Dating in your 30’s is strongly debating if your “work outfit” can double as a “date outfit”.  Because Tuesday might be the only night you’re both free.

Dating in your 30’s is planning at least 3 escape routes for every first date.

Dating in your 30’s is learning the best pick-up line is just, “Hi, I’m Katie.”  Or sometimes, “Are you gay?”

Dating in your 30’s is wishing they all came with written references.

Dating in your 30’s is immediately hating yourself for attempting online dating as soon as your first date feels like sitting across from someone’s random uncle.

Dating in your 30’s is having to re-live said date when you run into a brigade of friends at the grocery store right after, and they question why “you look so cute” to pick up spinach and detergent.

Dating in your 30’s is learning the terms “ghosted”, “bread-crumbing”, & “cushioning”.

Dating in your 30’s is settling for “semi-sketchy”, because it’s at least better than the other options that are all “very sketchy”.

Dating in your 30’s is hearing all of your best qualities being used against you.

Dating in your 30’s is learning that although he’s hot and the lead singer in a band, he may also have a roommate, a DUI, and a probation officer.

Dating in your 30’s is learning upon first meeting that you’ll never be able to see eye-to-eye, because he lied about being 5’7″, and is in fact, 5’2″.  (Note: the issue is the lie, not the height.)

Dating in your 30’s is hearing him call someone “the fat girl”.  Then politely letting him know that you and her likely wear the same size.  And then having the courage to walk away.

Dating in your 30’s is being attracted to stability, humor, and integrity over tall, dark, and flirty.

Dating in your 30’s is spending a lot of time unnecessarily questioning your worth.  Because some a$$hole got to you again.

Dating in your 30’s is being able to switch from RBF to Felicia Flirts-a-lot at the swing of a door.

Dating in your 30’s is finding polite ways to ask, “So, why are you divorced?”

Dating in your 30’s is getting great at social media “research” as soon as you find out his last name.  Or sometimes before.

Dating in your 30’s is quickly realizing they’re doing the same to you.

Dating in your 30’s is continuing to hope for what may be around the next corner, even though every turn is because someone has reminded you of what you’ve lost.

And finally…

Dating in your 30’s is just hoping to find someone that loves the you that you’ve learned to love too.

 

Again, I realize a good portion of this is my own doing.  I too am at fault for casting such a wide net, introducing myself when I probably should not have, and being a bit too… myself.  So I’m sure others’ experiences are very different.  But at least you now have one girl’s perspective.

And as one wise friend so concisely put it:  “It’s rough out here.  Keep at it.”