I love when friends bring up memories of Chris.  There are things that stick with others, but haven’t stuck with me.  I think sometimes that’s God talking.  Through our conversations.  Reminding us of the moments that have been misplaced.  The things that matter.

So when a friend brought up Chris’ obsession with Africa, it was a flood of wonderful memories coming back.  Because during many a bible study, Chris would say, “What if I’m supposed to go to Africa?  What if that’s what God calls me to do?”

It was a huge fear for him.  Not necessarily of going to Africa.  But more, the fear of being called to do something huge, and not feeling equipped.  Or not picking up on the call.  And without fail, I always reacted the same way.  “We are not going to Africa.  No.  God isn’t calling us to go to Africa, Chris.  No.  If He does, we’re hanging up.  Absolutely not.”

In hindsight, that was pretty discouraging of me.  I really should have been more encouraging, and accepting.  Not a regret, just a reflection on my wife skills.  But I digress.

The friend brought it up because of the irony in it.  Chris was incredibly focused on being called for something big.  Which meant he missed seeing the impact he was making in his daily life:  in the seemingly insignificant things.  The impact he never knew he had.

Because the impact Chris’ life made had nothing to do with digging wells in Africa, building hospitals in Haiti, or educating the inner-city kids in Chicago.  These are all wonderful endeavors, and please do not think I would infer otherwise.  But for Chris it was about the every day.  The one-on-one conversations.  Taking the time to listen.  Taking the time to visit.  Taking a moment to love others.  Treating others like his own mother, Oma, or wife.  Teaching his clients how to manage their money responsibly.  Calling friends on their birthdays.  Taking care of the bill when he didn’t have to.  Treating single female friends to a lunch.  Using his resources to love others, and to ensure they felt loved.

So here is the scarier question:

What if we’re NOT called to go to Africa?

What if our entire purpose is our everyday life?

What if our entire purpose-our calling-is the relationships we’re building each day?

What if our purpose is about forgiving that one friend?

What if our purpose is just to be kinder?  Gentler?  More caring to the neighbor next door?

What if it’s all about how we treat other drivers?

What if it’s how we treat customer service representatives?

What if it’s how we treat that guy knocking on the door, interrupting dinner?

What if it’s just about spending a few moments each day playing with the kids?

What if it’s just about complimenting our spouse?  Telling them how much we love them?  How much we appreciate them?

What if it’s about giving our grandmother a call, just to check in?

What if it’s about showing up to work and just doing a great job…without complaining about it?

What if it’s about foregoing a Craigslist ad and giving that furniture to a family in need?

What if it’s just about the daily, insignificant things?

What if the right now is the big stuff?

What if God never calls us to do something big?  Because that wasn’t our purpose.  Our purpose was the every day.

What will we do then?

“My fault, God, I was waiting for You to call me to do something HUGE.  I didn’t think spending time with my family or treating others with kindness was what you wanted from me.  I’m super talented.  I figured you were calling me for something bigger.”

It sounds so silly, but that’s what we’re saying.

And it gives it perspective.  For me, at least.

I may not get called to Africa.  Or Haiti.  Or to inner-city Chicago.

And that’s okay.

Because I have plenty to work on in my life right now.  I have plenty of opportunities to improve my kindness, patience, giving to others.  I have relationships I can improve.  Kinder words to give.  More time I could spend with family.

If I’m ready, He’ll call me for something more.  But I’m not ready.  I have a lot to work on as it is.  Chris left quite the legacy to fulfill.  I have a lot to work on just to live up to him.